‘Love is a curse!’

She started again. For many times, since I have became her friend, she always says like that. Very pesimistic and cynical, for the greatest thing in the world, Love.

‘Why do you say like that?’ and for the dumb reason, I always ask it to her. The same statement, the same question, and you can guess…the same answer!

‘You can not hide from love!’ she will say it emotionally. ‘Your mind will be full of him. Your heart will be beating fast everytime you see him. And your soul will seek, and seek again, the soul mate’. She will sigh. ‘And it will suffer you in every single night, in every lonely time that comes to you, and every romantic moment that your friends do. It is not fair!’.

Ugh, she is so ‘drama’. At that time, when she said ‘It is not fair’ her eyes will be sad, her mouth will be tight, and I don’t know, for a while I can feel sadness in her explanation.

And my reply is (still almost the same) ‘Love is something beautiful that you must enjoy. All the suffer that you have already told me, is the first thing I want from falling in love. I wanna feel my crazyness because of her. I wanna feel my heart beating when I see her in front of me. Or only hear her voice. I wanna feel that romantic moment, praise the Lord that I can see that, and happy for my friends. Everything is beautiful, if you change your mindset’

Usually, she will argue it because she is so stubborn. But now, she just keeps silent and bow. Eh, I do wrong?

‘Hey..something wrong with my answer?’ I asked her carefully. Even though she is a hard and very independent woman, I know in deep inside her heart, she is the sensitive one.

‘No, your answer is always good. But your heart is not’ she mumbled.

‘Ah, then, what’s wrong with my heart?’ I tried to reduce the tense.

‘Your heart has never known..there is another heart expect it very much. Your heart can not feel, if other heart always beating fast when it near yours. Your heart has never looked for other heart. Your heart has never found…mine’

Hah? Wait a minute..’…are you trying to say..that you love me?’ I try to make it clear. And you know what..now my heart is beating fast.

‘Yeah..for long time ago..until now. Unfortunately you just see me as your friend, not a woman that worthy for your life’ she spoke quitely. ‘That is why I called Love is a Curse. It’s just punish me everytime I must see you, talk to you, listen to you, laugh with you, for everytime you told me about your ‘chasing a girl’ ones. It is hurt me, you are not trying to chase me, but I can not do anything…than…love you without asking you to reply it’.

Oh nooooo…I got the headache….what should I do? Now, maybe love become a curse for me too. Love makes me losing my best friend….

***

What feeling is it
When love and hate come together
Love come first, then hate will follow?

Love makes you wonder
Why it does not come earlier
Because it makes you feel better
And becomes all problem solver

Hate that will follow,
Makes your life in sorrow
Sad will be grow
And your mood will be low

Anyway, it will be change
Love and hate make your mind blank
A while happy a while sad
But those feelings are great

So, welcome love!
Please lift me up, above
Don’t make me confuse
And assume it is a curse

***